Title

I've come to realize, through the use of titles prefacing every blog entry I've written, how different of writing styles I had while writing on Xanga (years back then), and then now, on Blogger.

Titles, like what Randal says to Dante in Clerks, does not necessarily dictate behavior. But it definitely plays a big role in shaping personal expectations and direction. With the title function as well as the ability to paste photos on Blogger readily available and used to undoubtedly devastatingly witty effect by myself, I've realized my writing (ie. blogging, nonsense) has become more focused, with a sense of directional narrative. That's not to say that my stream-of-consciousness rants back in the day lacked any semblance of direction, but those entries were scattershot, at best.

This is not an observation or literary critique of the meaningfulness/uselessness of titles. Can't an observation be just that?

Other than that, I'm glad this week is over. One failed interview at a company I really liked, and one moderately successful interview at a company I'm mildly interested in, along with spicy Sichuan food almost every single Gad-dang night has led to me shuffling around my seat in discomfort due to the large hemorrhoid growing around the north-east quadrant of my brown-eye. I'm thinking being in a serious relationship and planning hardcore for the future, while receiving my nth rejection in China has led to some serious 上火 action up around my anus.

The hemorrhoidal cream helps. As does the depository, which is a first for myself. Also, the knowledge that I have a loving mother and father(s), brother, sister, an awesome girlfriend, awesome soon-to-be-probably-maybe-parents-in-law, my friends back home and my friends that'll be visiting, and my good health, disbarring the hemorrhoids, helps immensely as well.

A little bit of Zoe, doot-doot-doot

That's right, I just appropriated a shitty late-90s pop song from a one-hit wonder has-been as my title. I guess that's the weird effect being with somebody you care about has on you.

And by weird effect, I mean the good kind. Not recanting and paying undeserved homage to shitty late-90s pop songs. That's some la vida loca shit right there.

This is how happy Zoe makes me:

That's right: stupid happy, the best kind of happy.

Mwah ^_^

Epic fail

A few weeks ago, I attended an interview at Possibility Space, a game company in Beijing, for the role of associate producer. I thought I did a good job in handling myself, despite having no relevant experience in the games industry. That is, unless numerous broken controllers and torn mousepads count as experience. Then I've got that shit covered. In spades.

As someone who's been gay for video games since his personal inception of interest in people of the opposite sex, I was obviously looking forward to working at a company whose roster of talent included a former producer at Blizzard, and a conceptual designer whose credits include various game designs such as Bloodrayne, 007: Everything Or Nothing, and various movies such as Transformers, the messy, plot-hole adorned love letter to the United States military that it was. For all of it's fleeting glimpses at a franchise that is synonymous with "childhood" to many including myself, I'll be damned twice if that technical design didn't blow people's minds to gooey shit.

I finally received a response yesterday after a period of over three weeks after my first interview, in which afterward I was promised a second interview. It read:

Dear Mr. Robert Tsao,

Thanks for your coming to join our interview in last month. Your passion and professional English pronunciation are impressive.

We are sorry to inform you due to an experienced person is needed for this position, we can not offer you this time. We will keep your CV in our database and we may inform you for any other opportunities.

Best regards,

xxxxxxxx


Welp. Not one to be deterred, I responded back with a suitable closing salvo to their long overdue response to my lackluster performance.

Dear XXXX,

Thank you for informing me of your company's decision in this matter. I greatly appreciate the time that you, XXXX, and XXXX took out of your undoubtedly busy schedules to meet with me.

I fully understand that as a person of limited experience, I currently have little to offer Possibility Space in the way of applicable talent. However, I believe my strong dedication to any task I am given is something that has and will allow me to excel in any endeavor I partake.

When I was hired by Lehman Brothers in 2007, I entered my hired position with zero prior knowledge of finance or the American mortgage system. With very little supervision, I excelled at my job due to a combination of voluntary overtime and outside research once I returned home. After only three months of employment, I was promoted by my supervisor to assist her in creating and stabilizing a newly created department in our office. Although I had very little interest in mortgage, I nevertheless had a passion for the quality of my own work, as a person is oftentimes his or her most demanding critic.

I believe I possess a strong combination of intelligence, drive, and most importantly, a passion and fascination with the direction of the games industry, namely qualities that cannot be taught or conditioned. Moreoever, I have faith and great interest in Possibility Space's potential, and I would consider it an honor for myself to be associated with such great talent.

Although I currently do not possess the experience your company is looking for, I am nevertheless hoping that as your company grows and positions continue to open, you will consider me as a potential candidate. In the meantime, I will be finding ways to further increase my knowledge and ability in the hope of eventually finding my place with Possibility Space's future. Thank you again for your time! Sincerely,

Robert Tsao

As a person who is becoming more realistic and practical by the day, I understand the oft-fruitlessness of humbling oneself again in the face of defeat. But I wouldn't so much call it that. A second attempt after initial rejection; if one is capable of groveling at the feet of an insistent ex-girlfriend, why should an ostensibly faceless company receive different treatment?

Besides, if I want to create games, I'll fucking find a way. Not necessarily in China, not necessarily in the States, but perhaps on my own terms and my own accord. How exactly? Excellent question, one that I haven't really considered yet. As of now, the gaming industry strikes me as one of the few that are essentially capable of sustaining itself during a time of economic crisis. People need escape, after all.

So, yeah. Disappointed, but not deterred. Nothing else to do now but try, nowhere else to go but up. Or down, if a shovel and pitchfork are provided.

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

There, but for the grace of God

More with the pictures. This is something Zoe and I came across while making our way back to campus from the U-Center near the subway station in Wudaokou, something that caused me to giggle and jump about with boundless, childlike energy.

The picture, like almost everything I've posted pertaining to China, is self-explanatory.

Sonic The Hedgehog fans, or at least the ones that have clung onto the series misstep after misstep, are a special breed of internet denizens, engaged in all sorts of tomfoolery such as marrying the titular racin' rodent via website, or anonymously proclaiming masturbatory habits and pleasing themselves to Sonic, but driving around on the streets in your very own Sonic-mobile? I honestly don't know what to make of it. What I really want to do is just curl up into a ball and let the tears that flow freely from my eyes carry me to a safe, warm place.

On a quasi-lighter note: Not that I wish any harm on anyone, but if, and God forbid, but if this car were to ever get into some kind of collision, I wonder if a dozens of gold rings would explode from it? Just curious, is all.

“囧” and found lulz

Although I find the symbol-based written Chinese language to be a headache and a half at times, ie. all the time, I'm finding that as my proficiency goes up, my appreciation of it does as well. This is one example。

囧

You're reading that entirely correctly. That is, in fact, a word in the Chinese language. Pronounced "jiong3", the word originally referred to a form of plant. But as the internets have evolved, so has language (or devolved, take your pick), as the word is now akin to "something that causes one to facepalm, Picard-style." That's my definition, at least.

As an emoticon, word, and now cultural phenomenon, 囧 is full of win.

There's a website called "A Jiong A Day." As you might've guessed, it's all in Chinese, but if you can understand it, it's actually pretty fuckin' hilarious.

Also, in my attempt to claim-jump Engrish.com's well-treaded ground, I took a snapshot of a sign in the campus' Chaoshifa market. I don't know if it qualifies as found lulz, but for the sake of convenience, I henceforth declare found lulz as anything that is unintentionally funny.


As far as negative stereotypes go, you guys aren't exactly helping. And by negative stereotypes, I'm obviously referring to lack of English spot-checking.

Oh me.

Monster *unter

Even though I've effectively sworn off WoW and pretty much all MMOs of various shape, form, and payment structure, I still understand the draw of what Blizzard hath wrought upon this earth, what with the constant updating of tier-based and seasonal gear for completionists around the world. I also understand the draw of WoW in Asian countries, as the PC is the dominant platform for gameplay and consoles (ie. the single-player experience) are generally a more fringe-based niche for game enthusiasts.

So, a trend I'm not following is the fixation on Monster Hunter 2nd G in Japan and here, my homebase of China.

Maybe "not following" is a misleading term here. Monster Hunter isn't a bad game per se; I understand the appeal of the game on many levels. For one thing, the game has a lot of charm in its design and gameplay perks. The art design is excellent and foregoes a lot of tired Japanese game-art conventions, such as uber-zippers and flowing robes adorned with multi-color fleur-de-lis' in favor for a more rugged, yet aesthetically logical approach to the character, creature, and armor design. Also, the cats. Gotta love the cats.

Another part of the appeal of Monster Hunter is the WoW-like accumulation of goods and items, and more specifically, teh gear. The whole drive to make your character look as kewl as possible, and all that. I've been on that bit before in the MMO context, and it's more or less the same here.

All of that above spells a recipe for addiction like Monster Hunter's MMO influences. So where's the problem?

Glad you asked. The problem rests entirely with the combat, which plays in 3rd-person action, with a free camera angle controlled by the player. For one thing, combat plays as a whiff-fest, where even the fastest weapon type, the twin blades, constantly miss their mark on even the most sluggish of mobs. All attacks are carried out in the same 4-hit chain, or 3-hit and so on, depending on weapon type, with no variation in combos. In addition, the combos aren't cancellable. You can dodge to the side with the "x" button, true, but this is only after you're done with what is presumably a whiffed combo on a monster. Patience isn't the answer here, either, due to the frustratingly proactive activity of the monsters you're tasked to hunt, meaning the second you run up for a jumping attack, the monster most likely has you pinned down with a high-priority attack of it's own. The whiffing is caused by the fact that, unlike other games, the combos, once initiated, cannot be cancelled mid-move and the direction of the attack cannot be adjusted. Even a game like Soul Calibur isn't this unforgiving, and it's a fighting game, of all things.

Because of the game's MMO-like aspirations, there is a surprisingly deep number of options and actions available to your character. This sounds nice in theory, but when you consider the PSP as a handheld gaming console, you begin to realize how prohibitive the control set-up is when being pummeled by an entourage of raptors in a corner. The 'R' shoulder button handles your weapon's special attribute, which goes against the convention of swaying the camera as fits your current position in relation to the monsters. Camera duties then, are mapped to a single button, the "L" shoulder button, in which a quick tap swings the camera directly behind your character. Once again, this sounds workable in theory, and for the most part, it is. But "workable" in a 3rd-person action game is inexcusable.

One of the biggest complaints regarding Ninja Gaiden 2 for the Xbox 360 was the camera control, as the camera, many reviews posited, did not follow the action well enough. However, the difference here is that Ryu has an effective blocking-plus-counter system, which means that with proper timing, one could work themselves out of even the most demanding of enemy bottlenecks. Also, as a linear action game that progresses via stages, Ninja Gaiden 2's camera shouldn't be a tremendous issue. It's safe to assume that anyone who hasn't learned to do a quick tap of the Right Trigger button before letting down their guard to attack by stage 2 simply isn't paying attention to what they're doing wrong. Monster Hunter, in contrast, is an open-world game with enemies approaching from all sides, with areas divided by invisible barriers. Thanks to the camera, it's possible to enter a zone with a boss mob waiting to bite your ass, with the player completely ignorant to the fact until they've suddenly lost 1/3rd of their life bar in one hit.

Another contrast with the aforementioned Ninja Gaiden 2 is the enemy actions you come up against. It's not so much that the enemy AI is advanced as it is unfair. There is no Metroid-like moment of invulnerability after getting hit, which means the player continues to take damage as he or she recovers, with the recovery being a slow get-up and then unsheathing of the weapon. If backed into a corner, it's safe to assume the player will receive a beat-down of epic proportions that even the cheapest of Street Fighter II players would grimace at. If it's a challenge the game is meaning to present, it's missing the point. Devil May Cry 3 and Ninja Gaiden 2 have proven that target lock-on and intuitive attack trajectory do not necessarily make a game easier.

Why am I comparing Ninja Gaiden 2 to what is ostensibly an RPG with action game elements? Specifically, I'm being so harsh to Monster Hunter's combat system because of how big a part combat plays to the game in item collection and quest completion. Ninja Gaiden 2 is a game that I've died numerous times in trying to obtain the 20 Microsoft Spacebucks Tecmo miserly tenders as a reward for completing their game, and with exception to the exploding armadillo fucks that you have to face a total of three times, and I've gotten the "Indomitable Spirit" achievement, which at the time, made me want to throw my controller instead of knowingly laugh, but never once did I feel cheated in death. If anything, the game made me want to improve my ability to chain combos, quickly move into a dodge either through dash or wall-kick, slam down on the nearest enemy, and then follow up with an execution to the demon hobbling towards me. Finishing a level or defeating a boss without using any health items or Ninjutsu scrolls gave me a real sense of accomplishment. The Spacebucks didn't hurt, either.

Both games have enemies that are agile, aggressive, and possess attacks that can decimate the player in a matter of milliseconds. Both games also have that self-adjusting camera that creates numerous pains in the ass. Also, both games are incredibly difficult. The difference lies in the fact that one game rewards the player if the player is willing to come to grips with that they're doing wrong and improve on it. The other game, namely Monster Hunter has no such sense of accomplishment, with whatever sense of "achievement" solely resting on the prettier armor and weapons the player can craft as the game progresses, a visually superficial reward as opposed to a sense of self-satisfaction. Monster Hunter is difficult, yes, but for all the wrong reasons.

My point here is that there is a distinct difference between "fucking difficult" and "fucking unfair", which is what Monster Hunter is (the latter, in case my sentence construction wasn't clear). Monster Hunter's flawed combat is forgivable to an extent. Like any RPG, a huge emphasis is placed on gear and inventory management, and shit like stat boosts. That's understandable. What isn't understandable is how tedious and needlessly frustrating it is the process of obtaining said items is. Publisher Capcom isn't new to the action game medium; if anything, it's solely responsible for giving the 3rd-person action game genre a swift kick in the taint with the Devil May Cry series, a series that has forced me to sit through countless "Game Over" screens, especially the third one, the difficult romp that it was. But like Ninja Gaiden 2, my deaths never felt unfair. If anything, I was just too slow to the draw.

Monster Hunter, on the other hand, is unfair for the aforementioned reasons I've just listed, coupled with some of the most unforgiving enemy monsters I've ever encountered in a game. Unforgiving, because of the abominable amount of whiffing taking place. Unforgiving, because half of the time, you can't see them. Unforgiving, also, because all their moves knock you down, forcing your character to then stand up slowly and regain his bearings, which, when finished, usually means the monster is gearing up for another attack. Forget about the paintballs and smoke bombs; even if you do manage to hit the monster with these tools (which are untargetable, by the way, but that was probably inferred), it doesn't change the fact that even with the strongest of equipment, it'll take you at least 10 minutes to finish off one boss mob. In third-person action games, where a two minute-long boss fight feels like an hour, this is intolerable. It's difficult for me to justify all of my hard work in obtaining the strongest available gear if all it means is that I have to hit the monster 500 times instead of 600 times with my new, shiny weapon. A weapon that'll probably whiff 60% of the time, to boot.

As noted before, Monster Hunter 2nd G is an Action-RPG hybrid. I've covered the action element, so how does the RPG element fare in comparison? Not well, either. The farming, item collection, and ad hoc wireless options are excellent, if I could get that out of the way first. The problem is, like any RPG, progress is directly tacked to combat and the results of battling difficult monsters. And as I've stated before, your character will always feel underpowered and outgunned no matter how powerful his or her gear may be. I understand that the presence of the farming option is meant to alleviate some of the pain in finding loot out in the field, but the only way to obtain farm plots are via guild points. And guess how guild points are obtained? That's right: combat. Ugh.

Monster Hunter's problem, to me, rests entirely with the fact that as both an RPG-like and action-like game, it isn't entirely sure what kind of game it wants to be. Like I said, I have a feeling the design choice in handling combat was entirely deliberate. Capcom has an outstanding track record with games that can keep a player engaged, no matter how many continues the player has to shred through to reach that final cutscene. The deliberacy of the combat design is the creators, I'm guessing, stressing the importance of the multiplayer aspect, and how fruitless and/or dangerous it is to go alone. That's nice and fine and all, but it doesn't change the fact that if the combat is flawed in single-player, then multiplayer, too, will have the same broken combat mechanics and all the frustrations and tedium that bring single-player down.

All of the aforementioned then, begs the question that if this game is so inherently flawed, why are so many people playing it? Simple: because it's the only game of its kind. There's something inherently cool about having that portable MMO experience. In an urban setting like Beijing or, say, Tokyo, where foot traffic dominates the streets and numerous gamer-friendly establishments replete with cheap drinks and snacks can be found block after block, it's easy to see how a group of friends can lose themselves for an entire afternoon hunting after rare mobs and crafting epic gear. I'm not disputing this fact of reality and the tendencies of Asian youth that go with it. All I'm doing is pointing out what I think is wrong with the game, on my own terms and own opinions. I'm putting my own personal stamp of disapproval on the game, as nobly designed as it is. Maybe it's my harsh initiation into the 3rd-person action game genre with Devil May Cry and Onimusha, or my console roots that have certain expectations about the way a game should be played, but in a game as combat-heavy as Monster Hunter, the combat is a total deal-breaker for me. As much as I tried to like this game, I ultimately couldn't, even after hiring my first cat to cook shitty mapo tofu for me and visibly smiling at my character sprawling on the floor in disgust.

For now, until Resistance: Retribution comes out, I'm sticking with my DS. Call me a girl, but I'm sorry, that's where the games are. At least this way I'm less inclined to throw a $130 piece of technology across the room.

"'What' ain't no country I ever heard of!!!"

"So, how's the weather tonight? Is it as cold as it was earlier?"
"Um... not as cold as before. The wind's more or less died down."
"Oh, that's good. Is it cold in... where you're from?"
"Nah, it's actually pretty warm year-round."
"Where are you from again?"
"What?"
"Where are you from?"
"America. Los Angeles. California."
"Oh, that's right."
"Yup."
...
"Are you sure?"