Title

I've come to realize, through the use of titles prefacing every blog entry I've written, how different of writing styles I had while writing on Xanga (years back then), and then now, on Blogger.

Titles, like what Randal says to Dante in Clerks, does not necessarily dictate behavior. But it definitely plays a big role in shaping personal expectations and direction. With the title function as well as the ability to paste photos on Blogger readily available and used to undoubtedly devastatingly witty effect by myself, I've realized my writing (ie. blogging, nonsense) has become more focused, with a sense of directional narrative. That's not to say that my stream-of-consciousness rants back in the day lacked any semblance of direction, but those entries were scattershot, at best.

This is not an observation or literary critique of the meaningfulness/uselessness of titles. Can't an observation be just that?

Other than that, I'm glad this week is over. One failed interview at a company I really liked, and one moderately successful interview at a company I'm mildly interested in, along with spicy Sichuan food almost every single Gad-dang night has led to me shuffling around my seat in discomfort due to the large hemorrhoid growing around the north-east quadrant of my brown-eye. I'm thinking being in a serious relationship and planning hardcore for the future, while receiving my nth rejection in China has led to some serious 上火 action up around my anus.

The hemorrhoidal cream helps. As does the depository, which is a first for myself. Also, the knowledge that I have a loving mother and father(s), brother, sister, an awesome girlfriend, awesome soon-to-be-probably-maybe-parents-in-law, my friends back home and my friends that'll be visiting, and my good health, disbarring the hemorrhoids, helps immensely as well.

A little bit of Zoe, doot-doot-doot

That's right, I just appropriated a shitty late-90s pop song from a one-hit wonder has-been as my title. I guess that's the weird effect being with somebody you care about has on you.

And by weird effect, I mean the good kind. Not recanting and paying undeserved homage to shitty late-90s pop songs. That's some la vida loca shit right there.

This is how happy Zoe makes me:

That's right: stupid happy, the best kind of happy.

Mwah ^_^

Epic fail

A few weeks ago, I attended an interview at Possibility Space, a game company in Beijing, for the role of associate producer. I thought I did a good job in handling myself, despite having no relevant experience in the games industry. That is, unless numerous broken controllers and torn mousepads count as experience. Then I've got that shit covered. In spades.

As someone who's been gay for video games since his personal inception of interest in people of the opposite sex, I was obviously looking forward to working at a company whose roster of talent included a former producer at Blizzard, and a conceptual designer whose credits include various game designs such as Bloodrayne, 007: Everything Or Nothing, and various movies such as Transformers, the messy, plot-hole adorned love letter to the United States military that it was. For all of it's fleeting glimpses at a franchise that is synonymous with "childhood" to many including myself, I'll be damned twice if that technical design didn't blow people's minds to gooey shit.

I finally received a response yesterday after a period of over three weeks after my first interview, in which afterward I was promised a second interview. It read:

Dear Mr. Robert Tsao,

Thanks for your coming to join our interview in last month. Your passion and professional English pronunciation are impressive.

We are sorry to inform you due to an experienced person is needed for this position, we can not offer you this time. We will keep your CV in our database and we may inform you for any other opportunities.

Best regards,

xxxxxxxx


Welp. Not one to be deterred, I responded back with a suitable closing salvo to their long overdue response to my lackluster performance.

Dear XXXX,

Thank you for informing me of your company's decision in this matter. I greatly appreciate the time that you, XXXX, and XXXX took out of your undoubtedly busy schedules to meet with me.

I fully understand that as a person of limited experience, I currently have little to offer Possibility Space in the way of applicable talent. However, I believe my strong dedication to any task I am given is something that has and will allow me to excel in any endeavor I partake.

When I was hired by Lehman Brothers in 2007, I entered my hired position with zero prior knowledge of finance or the American mortgage system. With very little supervision, I excelled at my job due to a combination of voluntary overtime and outside research once I returned home. After only three months of employment, I was promoted by my supervisor to assist her in creating and stabilizing a newly created department in our office. Although I had very little interest in mortgage, I nevertheless had a passion for the quality of my own work, as a person is oftentimes his or her most demanding critic.

I believe I possess a strong combination of intelligence, drive, and most importantly, a passion and fascination with the direction of the games industry, namely qualities that cannot be taught or conditioned. Moreoever, I have faith and great interest in Possibility Space's potential, and I would consider it an honor for myself to be associated with such great talent.

Although I currently do not possess the experience your company is looking for, I am nevertheless hoping that as your company grows and positions continue to open, you will consider me as a potential candidate. In the meantime, I will be finding ways to further increase my knowledge and ability in the hope of eventually finding my place with Possibility Space's future. Thank you again for your time! Sincerely,

Robert Tsao

As a person who is becoming more realistic and practical by the day, I understand the oft-fruitlessness of humbling oneself again in the face of defeat. But I wouldn't so much call it that. A second attempt after initial rejection; if one is capable of groveling at the feet of an insistent ex-girlfriend, why should an ostensibly faceless company receive different treatment?

Besides, if I want to create games, I'll fucking find a way. Not necessarily in China, not necessarily in the States, but perhaps on my own terms and my own accord. How exactly? Excellent question, one that I haven't really considered yet. As of now, the gaming industry strikes me as one of the few that are essentially capable of sustaining itself during a time of economic crisis. People need escape, after all.

So, yeah. Disappointed, but not deterred. Nothing else to do now but try, nowhere else to go but up. Or down, if a shovel and pitchfork are provided.

Stay gold, Ponyboy.